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 Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan

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Moonheart
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Posts : 423
Registered : 2009-06-18
Location : Iceclan Territory

PostSubject: Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan   June 18th 2009, 9:05 pm

Name: Moonheart
Species: Cat
Gender: Male
Clan/Family (or none): Iceclan
Personality: Icestar found Moonheart at Moon Falls (she was about to share tongues with star clan) and immediately took him into IceClan after hearing that SunClan brutally left him to die (ever since this he has hated SunClan with a bitter passion). She named him Moonkit from the way that his fur shown in the full moon and because he was found at Moon Falls. She also volunteered to train him because of the special way they met. Soon after starting, he obtained a reputation for how powerful he was. When it came time for his warriors ceremony, he was named Moonheart for his extreme loyalty. Currently, he prefers to think to himself or talk to Icestar. He will also fight SunClan to his best potential (without breaking the Warrior Code).
Appearance (hair,eyes,etc.): Completely white fur with silver streaks running from the neck to the begining of the tail, blue eyes, average height, and a thin body but not too thin
Rank: Warrior (leader, stray, human child, etc.)
Picture: (optional)


Last edited by Moonheart on June 19th 2009, 2:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Icestar
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Registered : 2009-01-20
Location : Iceclan territory.

PostSubject: Re: Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan   June 19th 2009, 7:32 am

Moon, can you add just a bit more personality? It's really close to my expectations. Check http://wotd.fantasyboard.net/accepted-characters-f60/ to see some quality ones. Or you could see Wildwind's character Rainpath. Thats what I'm really looking for, but I tend to let people off with like 20 words.
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Moonheart
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PostSubject: Re: Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan   June 19th 2009, 1:08 pm

Sorry, I'll fix it up to my best potential. That was horrible.
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Icestar
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PostSubject: Re: Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan   June 19th 2009, 1:25 pm

Actually, you have the starts of someting really good. With a couple of the right words, you could go really far with this one. Example:
"Quiet and friendly, yet fierce in battle. He is extremely loyal to Iceclan, and hates Sunclan with a bitter passion. In his old Clan, he was punished unfairly With no cause. This cat is not shy, but only says what is needed..."
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Moonheart
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PostSubject: Re: Moonheart, Warrior of Iceclan   June 19th 2009, 1:50 pm

Ok, but I already created a way better storyline for my character.

Credit goes to WildWind for showing me how to create a great story for my main character.
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