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 Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated

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How do you like the story?
It's the best! You should get it published! (XD)
14%
 14% [ 1 ]
It's great! It could use some work though.
43%
 43% [ 3 ]
Neutral.
14%
 14% [ 1 ]
Ehh...... It needs a lot of work.
29%
 29% [ 2 ]
My Eyes, they Burn!!
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
I don't know.
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 7
 

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Icestar
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PostSubject: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   March 18th 2009, 8:30 pm

I enter a lot of writing contests... cuz i love to write, and have too much time..

Prologue
A man stood in a shaft of moonlight. He was wearing a dark cloak, and clutched a small, furry bundle. The hood and cloak did betray a glimmer of gold and silver. With a hand he brushed back tawny hair. His unusual amber eyes showed no emotion.
A grey shadow darted past, but didn’t escape the man’s keen senses. He called softly “King Akaela, come out.” An old but magnificent wolf stepped out. He had caught scent of the bundle. He growled softly “He is a human, not one of our own, the manypaws.” King Leo spoke calmly “He is a Talos. You will accept him?”
Akaela nodded obediently. “Yes, High King Leo. When shall we tell him?” King Leo’s eyes became troubled. “Never.” Akeaela growled. Leo raised a hand. “You will see.” He set down the cub. “Farewell” He shifted into a magnificent lion, turned, and padded away.
Akaela gazed with the yellow eyes of the wolf. The cub had emerald eyes, which symbolized great character. He saw courage, nobility, and strength, but also trouble. The old gray leader seemed to see the world, ever changing in its patterns. He murmured, still mesmerized, “His name is Shift.” He picked up the cub carefully in his vast jaws, and silently padded towards his home.
Part One
A small black wolf yearling tussled with a large rust colored wolf. The small wolf was pulled down, but didn’t squeal as Hawk bit at his throat. He went limp, and when he felt Hawk loosen his grip, sprang up, and sped away. Hawk gave chase. He clambered over, under, and around wolves in his murderous quest to kill the young wolf. The yearling crashed into Rowan. Her sharp voice rang out, “Stop!” They slunk away, muttering “Yes, Mother”. She thought that this was a game! Hawk then drove Shift away from the pack, and into an empty clearing. Hawk rounded on him with bared fangs, roaring. “Talos, die!” There was that name again, Talos. Then everything burst into a million colors…

Shift awoke, and winced at the pain that seared through him. He was in a cave, with many cloaked humans. He hurriedly rolled over, and looked the water. “No! What happened?” Shift yowled, still speaking wolf. For what he saw wasn’t a wolf, it was a human. He was wearing armor, amazingly light. Someone with a hood and cloak that failed to stifle a glimmer of gold and silver hurried to his side. He placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back down on the bed on which he lay. Bed. How had he known that? “Shift, you are a Talos, a shifter, like me. Our real names are the Finetongues. We rescued you by Akaela’s den. It was a nasty wound. It’ll leave scars.” Shift just stared at him blankly, and the man explained. “I’m High King Leo. You are Shift. You’re going to be the greatest hero ever seen. You must save us from Kyota.” Kyota, the white sorceress. She had orcs and men at her command. Her name struck fear and hatred in many hearts. Her men in their gleaming white armor with a red viper rearing to strike. They had tramped through manypaw, as well as others’ territory, regardless of law, custom, or regard for anything in their path. King Leo peered at him quizzically. He had amber eyes. Shift’s mind came back to the present. “She has ordered us killed. We are the remains of her first strike.” He paused, “ My mistake. Shift, your real name is Fenris.” He threw off his cloak. Upon his head was a thin gold crown. His armor bore the crest of a lion. He pulled a gleaming sword out of its sheath at his side. He knelt down and rested his head on his swords hilt. All the others did the same. “Will you lead us, Shift, heir to Akaela, late King of wolves?” The words struck shift like a blow. Akaela was dead. He was about to walk away, but why? He wasn’t a wolf; he was a human as well. He must carry on. He felt a sudden courage come over him, and he bade his men to rise. “Yes, I will.” He spoke clearly, and his words seemed strange. The warriors stood and saluted. In a single voice they cheered, “All Hail King Fenris! Leader of the Finetongues!” Suddenly a clamor came from outside, and the room went silent. Kyota had come. And she had brought company.


How is it?


Last edited by Icestar on March 21st 2009, 6:12 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   March 21st 2009, 6:10 am

Okay, I welcome any type of feedback, as long as it doesn't swear. I will be adding a chapter as soon as I can type it. So, how do you like it? You can post, or vote in the poll.
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   July 25th 2009, 3:04 pm

It's kinda hard to understand. I think you should take it slower. Add more detail.
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   July 26th 2009, 9:39 am

yeah, I'm going to finish the next chapter, then go back and edit. If you remeber it was for that one Inkheart writing contest. I won honorable mentions. It had a word/page limit, so now i am trying to extend it to longer then one of my written pages.
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   July 27th 2009, 5:40 pm

good, because it goes really fast and confusing!
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   December 30th 2009, 5:15 pm

I lost the second chapter, and I'm currently writing a different story. So far, I have at least 40 written pages done. It's in that notebook I carry around. So this one may take a while, esp. since it was on my last thumbdrive that died.
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   January 1st 2010, 9:58 am

Well thats all fine and dandy.

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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   January 1st 2010, 2:24 pm

Don't SPAM! And Icestar still hasn't gotten anymore up here?

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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   March 17th 2010, 4:56 pm

Ha! I just went through the box o' random crap, and I found the rough draft of the second chapter! Maybe now my writing block will end!
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PostSubject: Re: Shift- cuz i enter too many contests...- will be updated   April 6th 2010, 11:09 am

Yipee. Jump for joy. 100th Smiley!!!

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